Pretty much Nostradamus

On Wednesday night I had a dream about playing soccer at Yoop. It was going fine for a while, but then I was banjoed. Not overly fun. Tonight at Yoop that pretty much happened, but it wasn't a soccer ball that did the damage, it was a person, and I didn't start flailing about in the air as an eagle in immense pain either. I had to laugh regardless of the pain at the coincidence.

Qui a été totalement rad!

Last stage. The sprint in the end was amazing, Cavendish coming out of nowhere to win by a mile. Almost literally. Cav is awesome. Contador has won the tour again, I would like to give him a message: "Deja de fingir a disparar un arma, es sólo la mano y parecer estúpido." Good on him though, I hope he doesn't win next year. I was kind of expecting Phil Liggett or Paul Sherwan to say "If we stopped the tour now..." I would've found it hilarious at least.

I'm a bit sad that it's all come to a close now, not going to have as good an excuse to stay up heaps late with a bunch of rad kids. Next year will bring another tour.

Changing topic completely, Onslaught 2 is a heaps fun tower defense game.

I probably will go back to not posting things here regularly now... nothing to talk about.

second last, stupid kids and sex ed

The penultimate stage was probably the most exciting time trial I've watched. Others said it was boring and fell asleep, but I loved it. Schleck really made Contador work, which was awesome, but unfortunately Contador came out ahead. He came out ahead to make annoying gun gestures when he got the yellow. What a loser!

On my way home it was foggy again, just like the first week of le tour. I was marveling at its thickness when I saw movement on the road ahead... a girl ran across the road and stopped in front of my car with her arms stretched out as if to say "try and hit me!" I switched to 2nd gear to rev real loud, which didn't phase her, but it motivated her friend to drag her off the road before I hit her. I also slowed down like the responsible driver I am.

I can't remember what reminded me, but today I remembered the first time someone 'taught' me about sex. A girl that at the time that I would have very loosely used the term friend about came up to me while I was playing outside and asked me if I knew what sex was. "No, what is it?" "It's a lolly" "Oh, ok" "Would you like some sex?" "No, I just had lunch." I guess she thought it would be funny to hear a kid of about 5 years old say he would like some sex... too bad.

I like fantastic contraption, I'm not very good at it though, I haven't finished it yet... It sure is fun.

3rd, 2nd, 1st

3rd last stage of the tour! It was very exciting during the sprint finish.

2nd attempt by girls to put make-up on Dan, this time successful. Also 2nd is Schleck, who unfortunately doesn't have a great chance of beating Contador.

1st was Cavendish, he won the stage, he is rad even without Renshaw. Also it was the 1st time I drove all the way to the Sheely's place. Amazing.

Dan was slightly hooked on Little Ships for Little Wars, so here's another game: Continuity.

I have also been told I have to share about any more interesting dreams since the last one, possibly good for Freudian analysis, was so strange. I had a dream that was nowhere near as weird as the last one, I was standing outside a house, which turned out to be a commune for all the cool kids to live, and hundreds of massive balls, blue ones and yellow ones, were flying towards the house. I was armed with various sporting equipment. I started off with a tennis racquet, but it kept changing, it was a cricket bat for a while. I was hitting the balls with my weapon, and as I did they broke in half, pretty much exactly like in pilot wings. Pretty soon there was a swarm of tiny flying balls clogging up the air, they became small enough to fit through the flyscreen. At that point I realised that I had failed at protecting everyone, they were all doomed. I couldn't leave it at that though, I wasn't going to simply sit there and let everyone... have balls flying around them... I can't remember if there was any actual bad stuff happening in relation to the balls, but I remember thinking they were evil. Luckily the flamethrower I had been carrying in my back pocket was perfect for removing the threat. I don't remember actually using the flamethrower either actually, the dream kind of ended when I got it out. I was a hero though.

pyyric victory

Schleck won the stage, but I think that since he couldn't gain any time over Contador he doesn't have a good chance of winning yellow, which I am quite unhappy about. This stage seemed to take a lot out of the both of them, and a lot of people touched Contador on the bum, but they didn't gain anything out of it. I didn't like that Schleck's hopes for winning le tour de France are pretty much out the window, but it was a pretty exciting finish.

Sam and I had a massive Bible session today, it was rad.

I also played a game called Little Stars for Little Wars, it's not an original idea, but it's the hardest of this type of game that I've played.

You snooze you lose

Carlos Barredo did pretty awesome today. Lance Armstrong tried to win but it turned out just as Jess Amy predicted. It wasn't a heaps exciting stage, particularly after yesterday's excitement. Tomorrow will be worse, rest stages are heaps boring.

Dan had a bit of a nap during the stage so he had some mean photos taken by some people. He woke up before they got lipstick on him though.

Worst. Stage. EVER.

NOOO! Schleck lost yellow, which is terrible. Contador got the yellow, which is even worse! Poor old Schleck was about to have a brilliant attack and gain some time over everyone when his chain fell off. He was calm, he pulled over to the side and tried to fit it back on so he could get back in the race, but the chain came off again! Schleck knew that Contador was getting away, every second counted. He got annoyed and dropped an F-bomb, then he tried to catch up. He couldn't make it. I don't even want to talk about it anymore right now.

C.Evans had pretty much the same bad luck when he was in yellow, cracking his elbow. Obviously he has been losing time ever since, so he can't be blamed for being a fair way behind the leaders. It seems pretty terrible to me that the best placed Australian has a cracked elbow, surely the other guys would be able to get above a guy with a fractured elbow...

I'm so tired, I got about three hours sleep, I went to bed about 2.00am, but I was awake til around 5.00am, then I had to get up at 8.00am to get ready for uni. This is only slightly less sleep than what I've been running on for the whole tour, but it's kind of the straw that broke the camels back. My brain is doing weird things in my head... My lassitude is merely making my annoyance at Contador worse. I think I'd better go to bed before I break things.

Pyrenées

Good on Schleck keeping on Contador's tail. What an exciting night! How is it possible that one event can keep bringing the awesome for so long?

My family got back from Queensland today. Caleb had a lot of scratches and a bandaged arm because he pretty much did a Jens Voigt, but with a quad bike.

He does not look as bad as this though:

Caleb doesn't even have a rad accent, so he loses a fair bit of sympathy.

Exciting times.

An Astana guy fell over looking at a horse. I was hoping it was Contador, but it wasn’t.

Vinokourov is probably on drugs.

Cav did good, using Hushovd as a lead out man.

The commentators loved talking about the trees. The French continue to love inflatable pools.

I felt a bit yuck today, so I fibred it up good. Banana, blueberry, lemon and date smoothie. Mmm.

If I were Bjarne Riis I'd buy a better whip.

So, I'm very disappointed in Schleck's lack of chase at the end of stage twelve. Contador gained ten seconds, which is terrible.

He's not the Messiah, he's a very naughty boy!

The jersey is greener on the other rider

Petacchi now has the green, I don't like Hushovd heaps, but he has grown on me, so I'm kind of disappointed but happy too. The end of the stage was pretty exciting, Cavendish won, but to lead him out properly Renshaw had to head butt a guy out of the way. Renshaw might end up penalised for it, but he'll be ok with that.

I've got a bluebird outside my window, just like that bluebird I've got wings. Skoda must use Red Bull as a substitute for petrol.

Story time

I found stage 10 a little boring compared to other stages of le tour, but there was balloons which made it all good. Actually now that I think about it there was a pretty good sprint and a cool descent down to Gap. Like I've been saying to heaps of people, even the most boring stages are really exciting.

We wrote a story at UBS, this is it:

There once was a llama called Fred, it was short for Fredrico. He lived with his family of seventy, they were becoming a great nation. They spent most of their time grazing in the most beautiful field in the world, it was flowing with milk and honey.

One day, the day many consider to be the darkest day in llama history, a big, scary, evil ninja-robot appeared from a storm cloud. The ninja-robot wreaked havoc, killing llamas indiscriminantly, but only if they were male.

Fred's mother, fearful for Fred's safety, hid her son in a bush. Now the ninja-robot was not programmed with emotions, but one day as it was trampling through a forest area it happened to see Fred peaking his adorable little llama head out of the bush and a strange feeling flooded into its circuits, little did it know it was love for Fred. Love at first sight. Fred also loved the ninja-robot, but they could not be happy together when the ninja-robot was killing his brothers and friends! What could these star-crossed lovers do?!

The llama named Fred and the ninja-robot eloped and built a family far away from the other llama, thus saving the rest of the llamas, so everyone lived happily ever after.

The end.

Top of the morning to you

Oh Schleckie boy, the bikes, the bikes are calling

From stage to stage, and down the mountain side 

Cadel is gone, and all his will is dying 

'Tis you, 'tis you must go and you must ride. 

But come ye back when Pyrenees are looming 

Or you could lose all of your time 

'Tis Contador be there behind in your shadow 

Oh Schleckie boy, oh Schleckie boy, go for yellow!

Fun stage. Fun balloons during the stage. Balloons and my fingers don't like each other though.

I'm going to miss the football final, but I won't really miss it.

So far I've not seen any of the soccer games in the world cup, I just need to be asleep at 3.30 to make it a clean sweep!

I have so far not missed a stage of le Tour de France, because it's awesome. A bit of mountain fun today, Armstrong pretty much disgraced himself, but that means he might focus on helping Levi Leipheimer to do well, which would be rad. Schleck won the stage in a very exciting fashion, just beating Sammy Sanchez. Cadel now has the yellow, which I'm a bit indifferent to. I don't think he'll keep it.

Uni at death o'clock on monday mornings this term. Yuck.

Flip flop

Chavanel got the yellow back again. Cancellara finished yesterday's stage 14 minutes behind him, so Chavanel isn't in danger of losing it to him again. I'm keen for Schleck to start ripping ahead now. Le Tour de France is remaining as exciting as a five year old's birthday party crashed by Corey Worthington and a puma. That's pretty exciting.

I used Tristan's bed last night. Since it is next to Ross and Dan's beds I was able to make some observations. Ross snores a little bit like a vuvuzela, but Dan snores a little bit more like a chainsaw. They don't snore they same way that I'm used to, they snore for about 30 seconds and stop, unlike those who snore all night long, for which I am profoundly glad.

Last night I worked out my strategy for if I ever turn into a roman centurion, how I would organise my men and such.

The bluebird carries the sky on his back.

Cav won again! Pretty impressive considering all the commentators had written him off. More importantly we have apparently found a commune house, but even more importantly again I found the song from the Skoda ads and made it my ring tone.

A better ending

Today's stage, Épernay to Montargis, was fairly similar to yesterdays, but Cavendish won, so the ending was better. I was pretty tense at the end. The cat was the real winner in the end.

Annoying people already

I'm still talking about le Tour, but this stage was kind of boring compared to the others. The ending sprint was a little disappointing, I was hoping that Cavendish and Hushovd would do awesome in the sprint, but they didn't.

There was also State of Origin, it was even more disappointing. More disappointing than failing to peel a tomato. New South Wales lost, but hey, we can't be good at everything, I'm happy with just being good at most things.

I promised Ross I would mention the fog again, because that's his favourite. On the way from the State of Origin to le Tour de France there was incredible fog, this was around 9.30 pm. I expected the fog to be more thick if anything at 2.00 am, but when I walked out it seemed to have completely cleared up. It was actually just a pocket of clear air, I hit the fog about two blocks away. Still insane, but not quite as thick as before.

I think that's it.

Important things from stage 3

First: CANCELLARA'S BACK IN YELLOW!

Second: Jess Amy: "It's got nuts in it"

Zoe: "I know, I bought it"

Nath: "It's still got nuts in it"

Third: CANCELLARA'S BACK IN YELLOW!

Fourth: Debbie is scary, but I maintain that Ross looks tastier than many. If someone said that about my hypothetical child I would feel like I have done a good job in making my child nutritious, giving him/her good meals and such.

Fifth: CANCELLARA'S BACK IN YELLOW!

Sixth: There's NO... sixth

Seventh: CANCELLARA'S BACK IN YELLOW!

No animals were harmed in the making of stage 1

For anyone who is wondering, the dog who ran into the group of cyclists yesterday was completely fine, but Adam Hansen broke his collar bone and is out now.
Chavanel was amazing, in the break away at 17kms and he stayed ahead whilst the rest of the group fell back. I was a bit annoyed, there was an exciting crash due to the wet narrow down hill road, it involved Frank and Andy Schleck. I didn't mind too much about that til later. There was two main groups of the peloton, the first had Cancellara and the second had Contador and Armstrong. I was hoping Cancellara would take the opportunity to get a better advantage over some other threats, but instead he waited for the Schleck brothers. Bah. I'm disappointed that Cancellara has lost the yellow jersey, but Chavanel does deserve it after that effort. There was also a bit of a protest at the end, it was pretty rad.

Blood sport

The first stage of le Tour de France was heaps fun, particularly the crashes. Maybe not for the riders though, like Adam Hanson, probably broke his collar bone because of a dog running into the peloton. I as a bit disappointed that Cavendish was hindered and couldn't blast his way into the green jersey, but that's ok, it was still entertaining. It was still foggy, it's rediculous trying to drive through it, it'd be faster to walk.

Aftermath

Yup, Cancellara's rad. Beat Martin by ten whole seconds. It was late and cold and I had a snooze for some of it, but I saw the exciting end bit and that's all that matters. Still a lot of fog on the way home. Is it worth going to bed at this hour? Yup.

Let us go in; the fog is rising.

When I was driving home earlier everything started out normal, but just past Wow there was a wall of white. This was the thickest fog I've ever seen. I slowed down to half the speed limit. It was amazing. In other news it's nearly time for le Tour de France, there are some time trials at 2.00 am. Cancellara will probably win the time trials, because he's awesome.