Monday, October 4, 2010

Offending strangers

I went on Omegle and eventually had this fun conversation:

Stranger: hi
You: I will eat your kitten's balls if you say asl!
You: sorry
You: it had to be said
Stranger: if that would mean that youd buy me one, id be okay with it :P
Stranger: how are you today, anyway?
You: What type of kitten do you want?
Stranger: a black one, would be nice
You: And I'm a little tired of repetitive conversations, you?
Stranger: cant you buy a female kitten so that there arent any to bite off? it would save you a lot of trouble
You: that wouldn't be very threatening though would it?
Stranger: no, but it would be very nice of you :)
You: I will do nothing to your female kitten!!!
You: Better not cross me!
Stranger: it comes across a lot more psychotic than the biting-balls-off-thingie
You: More?!
Stranger: yes, much more
Stranger: because it sounds much more insane
You: I don't understand how that works
Stranger: you should remember that for the future
You: I'll try it next time
Stranger: if you say: ill bite your kittens balls off and so on, im just afraid
You: That's why I apologise straight after
Stranger: but if you say "ill not do anything, harr harr", im more frightened because i dont know what to expect
Stranger: how many kittens balls have you bitten off, after all?
You: Loads
You: I eat dim sim all the time
Stranger: you are a very bad, bad person
You: I take that as a compliment
Stranger: okay :)
You: So thank you
Stranger: youre welcome

Then the stranger disconnected. Stranger; I'm not really like that, I was just irritated by the previous bunch of boring conversations. The next person was interesting too:

You: I will do nothing to your female kitten!!!
Stranger: heyheyhey
You: Does that sound threatening to you?
Stranger: ok good, she is giving birth now anyways
Stranger: yes it does
You: Wow
You: Last stranger said it would be
You: I didn't believe them
Stranger: oh, do you believe me?
You: Yeah
You: Two separate sources of information works for me
Stranger: good! bananas!
You: verification
You: bananas?
Stranger: so whats with you alien?
You: I'm only an alien if I'm not on earth anymore
Stranger: are u on earth?
You: Do you ever sing the Gwen Stefani song when you write the word bananas?
You: I believe I am on earth
You: I could be mistaken
Stranger: i do!
Stranger: b a n a n a s!
You: It's the only part of the song I know
You: Who said pop culture can't be educational?
Stranger: ha
Stranger: s o l o
You: There's also a song from the show Arthur that taught me to spell Aardvark
Stranger: i didnt know that!
You: It's a way rad show, you should watch it for sure
Stranger: iv watched it before!
You: Ah ok
You: sorry
Stranger: i prefer little bill
Stranger: haha
Stranger: or elmo
Stranger: thats very educational too
You: Elmo is educational
Stranger: and dora. it helps me with spanish class
You: Dora is also good for the lead based paints
Stranger: yes, stupid chineese people trying to poisen our children
You: Hmm, that's probably irony there
You: I'm not sure anymore
Stranger: i have no clue
You: Too many conflicting ideas about what irony is
Stranger: i completely agree! anot like foreshadowing
You: Foreshadowing?
Stranger: like in english
You: I must have been distracted when they taught that one
Stranger: oh, its ok. i inly know it cuz we just learnedd it
You: They need a song to teach about foreshadowing
Stranger: i know! so much easyer
You: let's not get alanis morissette to sing it though
You: She's responsible for my confusion about irony
Stranger: no! too confusing then
You: Can you explain foreshadowing to me? It's ok if you can't/don't want to.
Stranger: its like irony
Stranger: like when in the beggining of the book when a kid says my mom would kill me if i get a bad grade, its like a hint later on that the kids gunna get a bad grade
Stranger: but i gtg
You: Oh
You: that was more obvious than I expected
You: K thanks for chats

I kind of felt stupid at the end there, I totally know what foreshadowing is, only it's past 3.00 am.

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