Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Saturday, December 4, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Sunday, November 7, 2010
The other two guys involved have already been blamed by the victim, but not me. Scot free as they say. Pretty fun. We did run out though, there's about 1200 post it notes on there. Took the three of us two hours to do. A weird guy ran past at about 1.00 am, he kept saying "just keep running". I'm thinking maybe he was attacked, or paranoid, or both.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Monday, September 27, 2010
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
I Mind it weel in early date,
When I was bardless, young, and blate,
An' first could thresh the barn,
Or haud a yokin' at the pleugh;
An, tho' forfoughten sair eneugh,
Yet unco proud to learn:
When first amang the yellow corn
A man I reckon'd was,
An' wi' the lave ilk merry morn
Could rank my rig and lass,
Still shearing, and clearing
The tither stooked raw,
Wi' claivers, an' haivers,
Wearing the day awa.
E'en then, a wish, (I mind its pow'r),
A wish that to my latest hour
Shall strongly heave my breast,
That I for poor auld Scotland's sake
Some usefu' plan or book could make,
Or sing a sang at least.
The rough burr-thistle, spreading wide
Amang the bearded bear,
I turn'd the weeder-clips aside,
An' spar'd the symbol dear:
No nation, no station,
My envy e'er could raise;
A Scot still, but blot still,
I knew nae higher praise.
But still the elements o' sang,
In formless jumble, right an' wrang,
Wild floated in my brain;
'Till on that har'st I said before,
May partner in the merry core,
She rous'd the forming strain;
I see her yet, the sonsie quean,
That lighted up my jingle,
Her witching smile, her pawky een
That gart my heart-strings tingle;
I fired, inspired,
At every kindling keek,
But bashing, and dashing,
I feared aye to speak.
Health to the sex! ilk guid chiel says:
Wi' merry dance in winter days,
An' we to share in common;
The gust o' joy, the balm of woe,
The saul o' life, the heaven below,
Is rapture-giving woman.
Ye surly sumphs, who hate the name,
Be mindfu' o' your mither;
She, honest woman, may think shame
That ye're connected with her:
Ye're wae men, ye're nae men
That slight the lovely dears;
To shame ye, disclaim ye,
Ilk honest birkie swears.
For you, no bred to barn and byre,
Wha sweetly tune the Scottish lyre,
Thanks to you for your line:
The marled plaid ye kindly spare,
By me should gratefully be ware;
'Twad please me to the nine.
I'd be mair vauntie o' my hap,
Douce hingin owre my curple,
Than ony ermine ever lap,
Or proud imperial purple.
Farewell then, lang hale then,
An' plenty be your fa;
May losses and crosses
Ne'er at your hallan ca'!
Saturday, September 18, 2010
If I were to get Havaianas thong straps tattooed onto my feet would
you pay the tattoo artist, with advertising space being the justification?
I never wear shoes, so the tattoo would always be on display!
It took them a while but they eventually responded:
Thank you for your email.
There have been a few Havaianas fans in the past that have done just this.
Unfortunately this is not something we can help you with although if you do go ahead with the tatoo we would love to see a photo.
Aqueo Import and Distribution
I replied with:
Carly, I like that you took my request so seriously. I guess you probably get loads of requests like that? It all came from a camping trip I was at, someone said I should tattoo shoes onto my feet, I said if I was going to do anything like that it would be Havaianas straps. Everyone pretty much told me I had to try and get money for advertising, so I did, I'm usually more of a follower than a leader. One of the girls did draw some on for me at the time, but they have worn off already, after only two days. I've attached a photo of the drawing for you.
Hi Luke, That’s not a problem at all… thanks for the photo and if you do decide to get them tattooed as I mentioned we would love a photo of that also. Have a nice day.
Obviously I couldn't stop there, so I sent:
Hi Carly,Have you already got photos of people who have tattoos of thongs? Can I see them? I have been considering getting a tattoo for a while, but since it's so permanent I don't want to get something I won't like later, so pictures could be helpful. It would be great to see how such a tattoo looks after a period of time, as in when the wearer is wrinkly. If I decide against thong straps I would probably go for a robotic arm, but getting my whole arm tattooed would be time consuming and costly. The other option is to wait until I go bald, which genetically speaking is very likely, and get one of those funny tattoos of a little man 'lawn mowing' at the point my hairline has receded to, either that or a bar code like in the Hitman movie and games.
I also need to consider which thong to use for the tattoo design, I'm thinking the strap from the Halftone Top Print would be the best. Which do you think would be best?
Unfortunately they haven't replied to that so far...
Monday, September 13, 2010
Here is the winner, by someone calling themselves Scuba Police:
Pretty darn bad I'd say. Here are the others in no particular order:
On my foot
I have a bunion
The size of an onion
But smells worse
and Frog spawn. Yum
Turkeys, Dinosaurs, Monkeys
and Turnips, Fried eggs and rice
all smell like poo
but taste very, very nice
when they are boiling in a pot
I eat them while lying in a cot
I eat them with a glass of rhubarb juice more often than not.
But not when they got in a lot of snot.
by Scuba Police
An ode to Mark holden:
Your biznitch was the shiznitch,
your foogles were the glop ,
you made so many ****ing words
now it's time to stop
Wind, Rain, Sleet, Snow,
Where's the potty I need to go
Louis's Super Duper Zippity day haiku
Yo my name Louis
Would you like some tea mister
one sugar or two?
Blibbity Blobbity bloop
I gotta big pile of goop
It's brown & sticky &
... oh my whoopsadaisy it's
Me speak English good
Me learned at many place
Me very poor now
Ounce upon a time ... there was
a boy & he was poor & he was 615 year old
& he died 425 years ago THE END
Hush the rain is falling
and the humidity has stifled my brain.
On th' soond a' th' bag pipe murd’rin down in yonder glen!
A salve to y' agein' heart t’d be t' hear the buck pipe scream;
Cornered, wailing out it's chilled blood baying
Echoin’ harshly on the breezes floatin' down the
Mighty Murray Meadows, by our valley staying.
T’wer brave the man who faced yon bagpipe growling
Armed with naught upon him for his prowling
Than with his trusty sporting sporran.
When feral bagpipe turns to breed,
There'll be upon these hills no peace.
Pity then the RSP won’t agree to let
The brawny Vet to cull: by strangulation.
There doesn't seem in this extreme
Without distain a more humane
Routine to move this curse from our domain.
Obviously if I'm going to talk about bad poetry I have to mention the list compiled by Douglas Adams;
Second is Grunthos the Flatulent, poetmaster of the Azgoths of Kria:
First was Paul Neil Milne Johnstone, a real person:
The dead swans lay in the stagnant pool.
Sunday, September 12, 2010
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Friday, September 3, 2010
I did a talk at Yoop, it was fairly short but I reckon it went ok. It was focused on 2 Timothy 4. This is it.
The world is a big flat disk and all the water falls off the sides in massive waterfalls. If it was actually a sphere people would fall off the bottom!
It’s ok, cigarettes won’t kill you, there’s no conclusive proof that they are linked to lung cancer.
Sometimes people refuse to believe the inconvenient truth, instead they want to hear reassuring lies. They want to hear comforting things because the truth can be scary. The truth is that the world is a massive sphere and cigarettes kills loads of people, but those truths have made some people uncomfortable.
The world often says that you should abandon those who abandon logic and reason, but what does God say about those people?
(At this point everyone went off to do the study)
(At this point everyone went off to do the study)
God loves everyone, so he wouldn’t send anyone to hell.
Jesus was just a really good teacher; he didn’t have any special powers.
Are these lies any different to the ridiculous lies about cigarettes and the world being flat? Would you rather feel comfortable believing a lie now, or spend eternity in heaven with the Lord of all? I hope you choose truth, but what about people who keep fighting for their reassuring lie? Paul encourages Timothy to Preach the Word in and out of season. That means that regardless of your audience you should always try to tell people about the good news of Jesus, because even if it does sound a bit scary Jesus will return and everyone will be judged. Not everyone will listen, a lot of people will turn aside to myths, but that doesn’t mean you should give up, keep telling them that Jesus died to save them from their sins, to me, that’s much more reassuring than any lie.
I had a different talk prepared, it was about the same thing, but it went around in circles a bit, plus it went for fifteen minutes so I deleted it this morning and rewrote it. It was a shame that I couldn't have done the other one, because I had all of the hand gestures worked out. I can't actually remember some of it already, so it's probably good I decided to redo it.