Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Don't threaten me with love, baby. Let's just go walking in the rain.

It seems to rain every wednesday, right when I want to walk to Bible study. I didn't get too wet today though, so it was fine. I seem to be a bit paranoid (who has been saying I'm paranoid?!) because a foul mouthed woman with what I assume is her boyfriend, but I wish was her husband, followed me halfway home. I was thinking the whole time of how I would defend myself, at first I figured I would attack the guy first, but then I realised that the girl wore the pants in the relationship and was the dangerous one, so I would attack her first. Obviously I would wait for them to make the first move, I would use the old mantra that the sensei always talked about at goju kai: evade, control, devastate & dispose. In other words you make sure your opponent is actually a threat instead of assuming people are dangerous and hurting innocents, then you avoid the attack by moving in an appropriate direction, whilst doing that you control the attack with a block, then it's time to attack them and dispose of them. The attack and disposal that I generally go to in my mind is to break the knee then trip them and leave. I haven't done it to anyone yet, unfortunately.

I wasn't the only one who was paranoid, I ended up following a couple of kids walking their dogs. One was a girl who was probably ten years old, she swore almost as much as the grown woman who had been following me did. She kept saying (with cuss words sprinkled through liberally) "That creep is following us. Do something. Call the cops. Kill him. He's still there" et cetera. It was only for two blocks, but it felt like ages. I was forced to think what I would do if the two teenage boys with the two dogs attacked me. Obviously I'd go for the dogs first, I'd drop to one knee planting the knee in the dogs back and try to break its neck. I would then kick the other one where ever I can as hard as I can. My tactic would then be similar to the previous woman when it came time to fight the boys.

In a more cheery note, on monday I was looking after kids and I sat down while they were building towers with blocks, they got to the roof which is heaps impressive, and my phone fell out of my pocket. They stopped playing with blocks and started playing with cars, and a little girl, probably 1.5 years old, picked up my phone and managed to turn on the music player (it was already open, she just pressed play) and exit it so that the phone locked. Her sister took the phone off her and tried to turn the music off, but obviously she couldn't since it was locked so she gave it back to the first girl. She started pressing buttons and getting excited every time the screen lit up. After a while she got bored of that and held the phone to her ear as if she was talking on the phone and started rocking in time to the Gyroscope which was playing. I found it pretty hilarious, it entertained her for a good half hour, so win-win really!

1 comment:

  1. i like how much thought you did put in to the actual order of the attacks. i often lay awake at night and think of ways to "stop the robbers" that i am sure are in my house after hearing a strange noise. but most of it just involves hiding under the bed, not attacking them...