Monday, September 27, 2010

Important issues for consideration

Einstein said that "You do not really understand something unless you can explain it to your grandmother", does that mean that if you no longer have a grandmother you can't understand anything? Some people might get around this by explaining things to the gravestone, at the moment I feel like hippies do that, so out of all the people in the world hippies must be the smartest, because they can understand the most. I reckon this also explains why parents are always complaining about children being 'know-it-alls', it's because they've still got grandparents to validate their understanding!

Talking about hippies, they like to say that we wouldn't go around not caring about the trees getting cut down if they could scream. Imagine trees that just screamed all the time, I'm pretty sure everyone would care a lot more, we'd want to shut those trees up by cutting them down. We'd not have houses built out of wood anymore, the trees wouldn't get the opportunity to grow big enough. They wouldn't even get big enough for hippies to chain themselves to them. If someone did chain themselves to a tree you could easily pull the chain hard enough to break the tree in half, it would be the hippy's fault that the tree died then. That would be pretty cool.

I wanted to say ironic, but I definitely don't know what irony is, it's just too confusing. I don't think irony is ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife though. It's probably not Mr. Play-It-Safe waiting a lifetime before flying and then crashing in the first flight he took either.

Plane crashes must really suck, lots of people in pain or dying. If I'm ever in a plane crash I'll probably avoid mirrors for ages, if I survive. If I don't see the injury it won't hurt as much. It's when you see how you're hurt that really throws you into a panic, so if I avoid seeing it I'll be fine. It'd suck it my head is knocked off and my last sight is my headless body falling to the ground, that would ruin my whole plan. It would be pretty hard to find a girl friend without a head too. I need to find one before I next go on a plane.

I've been thinking about whether it would be better to get a tattoo of thong straps on my feet, or an operation to have opposable toes. One of the two things are going to happen eventually, but which? The tattoo is cheaper and less can go wrong, I'll be able to continue not wearing shoes and not having any pain on account of the calloused nature of my feet. The opposable toes would fundamentally be an operation to replace my feet with somebody's hands. This has the potential to go badly wrong, and will be very expensive, also unless I find a carpenter or something who is willing to give up their hands my new feet would be quite sensitive and it would be painful to walk on gravel and stuff. They would be totally worth that though for the functionality. I could climb trees and stuff with my feet, and pick up various objects. It's a tough decision.

In ├ćon Flux Sithandra has opposable toes.


She ends up the bloody queen, mate.

Clearly she ended up in that position because of her toes.

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