Thursday, August 5, 2010

The morning

"... So what have you been up to this morning?"
"Y'know, the usual."
"Which is..."
"Wake up, peek out the door to make sure you're still asleep and find your door closed, walk to the toilet naked, have a shower..."
"What if I got up while you were walking past?"
"I dunno, probably awkward times. Anyway, I get dressed and I have breakfast, usually it's cereal, but today I had a cooked breakfast, I fried some bacon, ate it off the pan, juggled some eggs then fried them too, then I fried a tomato and half an apple..."
"Whatever. I leave the other half of the to sooth my burnt tongue when I'm done, then I drink some milk and you usually wake up around then so we chat for a while. Normally you talk more, since you're a girl. Something wrong?"
"Hey, what's news?"
"Do you reckon other people's wee tastes different to your own?"
"... I'm going"
"I'm not sure, have you tried your own before?"
"Nah, but like, you eat heaps different to me, does that make your wee taste different?"
"I don't know..."
"I dunno either... What would be the best way to drink wee?"
"I was thinking of like, soaking something in it, then eating it."
"... I'm speechless..."
"I reckon toast would be the go."
"You do know that weeing into a toaster would be ten times worse that sticking a knife into the toaster?"
"Yeah, duh, I'd put the toast in the sink then stand on the bench and let 'er rip"
"Make sure if there are any dishes there that they are dirty, and wait until I'm out of the room before you start"
"I'm only thinking about it, I'm not that stupid."
"Oh, but you are, you're not Einstein, you won't be satisfied by a thought experiment, you'll keep thinking about it and eventually you'll do it."
"Do you think cat wee would taste different to my wee?"
"I wouldn't touch her cat if I were you, that thing is vicious, and yes, it would taste very different I suspect."
"Well, have fun today."
"See you later."

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